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The Overwhelmed Brain

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Jan 3, 2016

Brene Brown said it so eloquently: "Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others."

Many years ago, I remember having to disappoint my bosses during my one year anniversary. They brought me in for my evaluation, gave me a promotion, praised me for the amazing work I'd been doing over the past year, were excited about where I was going in the company, and gave me the tiniest raise I'd ever been given in my life. 

I was like... "Wow... Thank you?"

That's what I thought in my head. But what I SAID was, "I'm rather disappointed. I thought I'd be getting a lot more money. With all the weekends I put in, all the projects I took on, and all the time I've spent helping out everyone I can, I really expected a lot more."

They were like, "Oh..." 

The look on their faces went from excitement to confusion, and the moment got awkward. 

Then I said, "I really have to think about my future here. Don't worry, I'm not quitting, but I do need to think about things."

And that was how I thanked them for their praise and generosity. 

It may have seemed ungrateful, with so many people unemployed at the time, but what was most important to me was that I valued myself enough to stand up for myself. I valued "me" enough to speak my mind, politely of course, but I honored myself that day and it felt pretty damn good. 

3 months later, I left that position and started a coaching business. My life's never been the same. 

I believe in standing up for yourself when you know it's the right thing, and accepting the consequences of doing just that. Not many people are willing to accept getting fired or getting dumped or whatever the consequences are, but when you live and express your truth, your true path is revealed. 

The hard part is accepting that there will be a hard part!

I talk about that on today's episode. Also, I read two letters: One from a woman who wants to know how to honor her boundaries without getting so much resistance, AND a really great letter from someone who calls me out! She thinks I have some sort of pathology and may need therapy. Is she right? 

Let's find out!

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