Jan 3, 2016
Brene Brown said it so eloquently:
"Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others."
Many years ago, I remember having to disappoint my bosses during my
one year anniversary. They brought me in for my evaluation, gave me
a promotion, praised me for the amazing work I'd been doing over
the past year, were excited about where I was going in the company,
and gave me the tiniest raise I'd ever been given in my
life.
I was like... "Wow... Thank you?"
That's what I thought in my head. But what I SAID was, "I'm rather
disappointed. I thought I'd be getting a lot more money. With all
the weekends I put in, all the projects I took on, and all the time
I've spent helping out everyone I can, I really expected a lot
more."
They were like, "Oh..."
The look on their faces went from excitement to confusion, and the
moment got awkward.
Then I said, "I really have to think about my future here. Don't
worry, I'm not quitting, but I do need to think about things."
And that was how I thanked them for their praise and
generosity.
It may have seemed ungrateful, with so many people unemployed at
the time, but what was most important to me was that I valued
myself enough to stand up for myself. I valued "me" enough to speak
my mind, politely of course, but I honored myself that day and it
felt pretty damn good.
3 months later, I left that position and started a coaching
business. My life's never been the same.
I believe in standing up for yourself when you know it's the right
thing, and accepting the consequences of doing just that. Not many
people are willing to accept getting fired or getting dumped or
whatever the consequences are, but when you live and express your
truth, your true path is revealed.
The hard part is accepting that there will be a hard part!
I talk about that on today's episode. Also, I read two letters: One
from a woman who wants to know how to honor her boundaries without
getting so much resistance, AND a really great letter from someone
who calls me out! She thinks I have some sort of pathology and may
need therapy. Is she right?
Let's find out!
Attorneys for $20 a month http://getoutofthemess.com/